Everyone Has Heard The Saying, “Nice Guys Finish Last.”
The fact is, that doesn’t have to be true. According to Professor Adam Grant, there are three types of people in the business world: Takers, Matchers and Givers.
- Takers are people who strive to gain as much as possible while giving little to nothing in return.
- These people are the top predators of the Givers and have very little regard for others’ well-being or success.
- Matchers are people who want everything to be fair and square. They have an “I help you, you help me” mentality.
- These people make up the majority of people. They also strongly dislike Takers and will often try to get rid of them by spreading negativity about them.
- Givers give as much as they can with little regard to what they will gain in return.
- If you are a Giver, chances are you are the nice guy everyone loves, but if you aren’t careful you could get treated as a doormat.
There are three qualities that will make or break the Giver in the business world:
Lack of Assertiveness
- Shy communicators get taken advantage of and they sacrifice their own values and expectations.
Solution: Become more assertive by negotiating and representing others’ interests. When you act on the behalf of another you can stand your ground.
Lack of Boundaries
- People who can’t say no burn out.
Solution: Instead of taking everything on yourself, work collaboratively. By working with others everyone is contributing and bearing the load together. You must be able to distinguish boundaries between individual and collaborative work.
Lack of Perspective and Too Much Pity
- People who lack the ability to take the perspective of others and pity them as opposed to empathizing with them will end up being exploited.
Solution: Be able to read others’ emotions by empathizing with them. This will prevent you from being exploited. You must be able to empathize with others to be a successful Giver. Be selfless not self-sacrificing.
Winston Churchill said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” You have to find that balance of giving selflessly and giving self-sacrificingly. You can be nice without neglecting yourself. Nice guys can finish first if they are smart.